THE MESSAGE NOW
Vol. 4, No. 10 – Monday, 18th March, 2019
RESOLVING CONFLICTS IN THE FAMILY.
TEXT: COL 3:12-24
Since the creation of the family, Satan has always focused on it for to destroy it.
When the first family was made Satan surfaced to cause the wife to disobey God and also caused Adam to sin hence the first family got disfavoured by God.
Since then Satan has continuously tried to tear families apart through conflicts; many a time such conflicts start with little things and when a couple allows the devil to magnify these little things the consequence is always disastrous.
Many of the root cause of conflicts in the family are things that are of no spiritual consequence. Pastor W.F Kumuyi once told a story of a couple that got separated over the use of tooth paste tube, such a thing you are supposed to laugh over escalated to the point of breaking the family.
The family conflicts sometimes arise as a result of the difference in the family background of the couple. Things like personal preference, handling of finance, interference of in-laws, children or house maids, communication gap, misinterpretation of action, wrongful suspicion as well as lack of patience with on another.
Conflicts should be handled with maturity (both should show high level of maturity), they should be handled with prayer and with the word of God.
Christian couples must never settle their difference in the presence of their children, friends, relations and neighbour. Doing such will destroy their Christian testimony.
I spent a great lot of time with my parents, they never quarrelled, my dad never use high tone voice against my mum, my dad never complained against my mum, my mum never argued with my dad, she never reported my dad to anybody, nobody ever came to settle any quarrel. My dad never called my mum by name despite the age difference and interestingly my dad never gave my mum money, i mean in our presence my dad never gave our mum any money. We were nine children and at any point in time there were 2 other dependent relatives with us plus transiting pastors who lodged with us often. Not once did i hear a quarrel between my dad and mum.
My mum had eye challenges and was to undergo eye operation but she refused, why? She said who will take care of our dad if she had the surgery. Many years later and two weeks after the burial of our dad she requested to go for the operation. She almost lost her sight for our dad’s sake. How many wives today can endure this?
We should love our spouses deliberately and intentionally, sacrificing all to keep the home happy.
Time should be created to discuss issues that cause tensions in the home but unfortunately many spouses discuss more with their friends and parents rather than their partner. This should not be, once the marriage is Consummated the couple should take the STEP together i.e S-sleep together, T-talk together, E-eat together and P-pray together. This step will volatilise any misunderstanding. Issues should be discussed under the atmosphere of love because when each tries is prove a point, the problem remains unsolved.
When there is love, we will be prepared to forgo anything that tends to break the home and which has nothing to do with our faith and love of Christ. The solutions to most of the conflicts that arise are found in the scriptures. If we accept what God says on such issues and pray together in sincerity and love, our homes will be a different place. If however the conflict is getting out of hand, we should consult a mature, competent, spiritual leader for counselling.
In the end, if Christian’s couples will be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love, in honour they will prefer one another; the home will be a radiant place. Conflicts will give way to confidence and heavy hearts to happy home.
Questions and Answer: Who was the king that had his two eyes gouged out? Answer: King Zedekiah (2 kings 25:7)
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Backslidden – living in sin – needing fresh recommitment (say):
Christ Jesus, You are the Anointed One of the Most High. I come to you today as I am. In your mercy, help me out of my situation. Heal my soul, my spirit, my body, my life and my destiny. I acknowledge you as the only true lover of my soul. Please, deliver me on every side and save me through and through. I promise from the depth of my soul to be yours from henceforth, in Jesus name. Help me now O God. Be my Lord, my Saviour and my all in all from this day. Thank you Lord (read Ps.54 in closing and pray more).
Hymn: God give us Christian homes
- Gen 3:1 Father, help me not to communicate with the devil, give me the grace to resist the devil at all times.
- Father let your son Jesus Christ be the head of my home
- Father, destroy every evil thought in me against my spouse
- Every personality in my father’s house, mother’s house, and in-law’s house against my marriage die now.
- Ps 139:14. I am carefully made; i am not an accident i shall not die of accident.
- Ps 139:14. My marriage is carefully made by you Oh Lord, it shall not breakup.
Israel Ade- Raymond Ebo